What should be your reaction if your teenager has a meeting with a girl? What can be hidden behind such addiction? What do teenage feelings and love have in common? What to do if you consider the chosen one of the son not worthy of him, and you think that love is not in time – “on the nose” exams?
Can love be called teenager love?
The main argument for parents trying to restrict or prohibit the son’s meeting with the girl is that at his age of 15-17 years old there is still no ability to deep and persistent feelings, and it would be better to sacrifice their relationship for the sake of further study. Many psychologists have an opinion that the feelings of adolescents are temporary, frivolous and deceptive.
Modern science knows about the most important human feeling – love – a lot, but not all. It is known for sure that in the component of all love feelings there are two main provisions.
– The idealization of objects to which love is directed – multiple positive qualities are attributed to him, the existence of many can be called into question.
– There is an opinion that the love object is “one and only, and only for you.”
In a complex set of love feelings there are many irresistible desires: to give passion to your object, but not to take away; take care of him, help him achieve prosperity and development, positively evaluate his personality, approach loving relationships with responsibility and respect. All these components of love feelings in relationships between loving teenagers are present, albeit with some psychological peculiarity of a teenage nature.
The most important component in a state of love is considered to be desire often and for a long time is with the object of their feelings, while experiencing a special euphoric state, combined with emotional uplift, excitement, good mood and a sense of security.
The presence of the syndrome of “Romeo and Juliet,” or still love.
It happens that for a number of reasons, the first love feeling goes into the category of Romeo and Juliet syndrome in severe or mild cases. According to many experts, this condition can be observed with every fourth teenager. Most often these are boys whom only mother raised.
Most often, this syndrome occurs due to a sharp denial and even prohibition of parents to meet with their girlfriend, a constant critical attitude to her behavior, appearance and personal qualities. Parents must understand that their son, being influenced by the first feelings, becomes especially vulnerable and fragile, although before the senses arose, he was with a stable psyche, and showed masculinity.
1.) You must definitely meet your boyfriend’s girlfriend. Perhaps she is a good and worthy girl. Have a pleasant conversation without interrogation and humiliation of her and her son.
2.) When talking with your son about love and intimate relationships, do not turn a conversation of a confidential nature into moralizing. So, you greatly underestimate his self-esteem, he can find self-affirmation on the side.
3.) Give your son more independence in the manifestation of his feelings, even if he is mistaken, and will experience mental anguish. You can’t save him from all the troubles – let him gain experience on his own.
4.) Respect your son’s choice – do not interfere in his relations, do not try to break them up or somehow influence them — you run the risk of being the culprit of all his troubles, and even after many years, your son will remind you of the accusations on occasion.
5.) If a son has a quarrel or breakup, tactfully remind him that he has his whole life ahead and there will be plenty of women on his way. Perhaps he will accept your reminder “with hostility”, but alone with himself – he will think about it.