Almost every class has its own bully, a maliciously poor or difficult child who receives a bad attitude from classmates and teachers and pays them the same. Is a change in his behavior possible and can there be improvements in his performance without changing the situation in the family circle and without painstaking search for the reasons how he became so? It is possible if you find “bright or bright moments” in his life.
“Sludge school!” The high school student expressed his opinion at a reception with a school psychologist, who was extremely surprised by his arrival. Teachers of several subjects who found it difficult to endure his antics sent for psychological advice to the high school student. Frequent lateness, rare homework, lessons with his participation turn into a bazaar, threatening schoolchildren with threats – this is not a complete list of all his “merits”.
Outside of school, his behavior was practically no different. They could not cope with him at home – he grew up without a father. School groups often changed, but everywhere the one result was a difficultly educated teenager who they tried to get rid of faster.
Let’s deal with therapy in solutions. What it is?
Many psychologists tried to instruct him on the “true path”, but all to no avail. And only once did a psychological conversation bring its positive results – the behavior of a teenager changed by 80% for the better. The teenager did not become an excellent student in learning and behavior, but his chronic violations of discipline turned into periodic. And the improvements were so significant that the pedagogical council overturned the decision to expel him from school.
What could happen in the psychologist’s office?
The psychologist practiced decision-oriented practice in short-term therapy (“decision therapy”), which has fundamental differences from conventional psychotherapy. Steve de Sheiser and his wife, Ince Kim Berg – psychotherapists, became the founders and inventors of the new treatment method.
Classical treatment involves a complete study of the whole problem, its roots, which can stretch in early childhood. Real archaeological excavations, because you need to dig in your head to search for a deeply buried grain of insight, a fact that can explain why your behavior is this and not another. This all takes a lot of time: standard Freudian psychoanalysis can be carried out for more than five years and be accompanied by visits to a psychologist 2-3 times a week, and can result in a very round amount.
And in the end, you can get a verdict that your mother and your wrong childhood are to blame.
The cloning of success.
What was used by the school psychologist in the case of a teenager? You can get acquainted with a small dialogue. It should be noted that the psychologist started the dialogue with an exception.
– psychologist: – “tell me about the time when you had no problems in learning and in behavior.”
– teenager: – “Yes, I had such a time when Zoya Petrovna was a teacher.”
– psychologist: – “what was not there as it is now?”.
– teenager: – “It’s hard to say, but she’s interesting and sweet.”
– psychologist: – “what did she do for you that she became interesting and sweet?”
From the conversation it turned out that the teacher always greeted him when he appeared in the office. Other teachers couldn’t even think of it – they bypassed him. The teacher took into account his learning disabilities and his tasks were easier than those of classmates. When independent work on assignments began in the classroom, the teacher carefully observed that all questions were clear to him.
The teenager received an attentive and respectful attitude from the teacher, and this helped him achieve positive learning outcomes.
In this situation, the “bright moment” for the teenager was the training in the classroom of Zoya Petrovna. Of course, she turned out to be a sensitive and attentive teacher – a true teacher. The psychologist told this story to all teachers and gave them advice to behave the same with a teenager, thereby simplifying their own lives.
For 3 months, the teachers treated the teenager in the same way as Zoya Petrovna, observed the behavior of the student and recorded: the presence of lateness, attitude to tasks in the classroom and at home, behavior. Three months later, amazing results were achieved – in all areas there was a positive trend.
The process of cloning positive experience at this school was very successful, and the problem student has ceased to be one.