Some level of criticism in a relationship is inevitable. We’re never going to agree with everything our partner does, no matter how well suited we might be.

When the criticism is always there or involves name calling or insults – it can really affect your relationship. It can create resentment, unhappiness and drive people apart over time.

One of the reasons criticism is so common in relationships – particularly long-term ones – is it can be a very convenient way of avoiding talking about problems. It’s often an example of someone ‘projecting’ issues, for example accusing someone of doing something that they themselves are insecure about. In this case, someone might accuse their partner of not caring about the relationship because they don’t want to take responsibility for their own side of things.

While this is understandable – relationships are difficult, and problems can take us by surprise, especially when they crop up after things have been going well for a while – it’s also a highly destructive habit.

If you think there may be too much criticism in your relationship, our quiz can help you consider ways to address the problem.